Friday, April 30, 2010

Lil' Blonde Darling: Lindsay Wagner as The Bionic Woman!

Blonde Beauty Icon The Bionic Woman

1970's TV was a good decade for female action heros....Lindsay Wagner as The Bionic Woman was definitely the most respected. While other popular shows like Charlie's Angels and Wonder Woman were considered seXXXed up "Jiggle TV",  Lindsay Wagner actually won an Emmy for Best Actress for her work on the show. Spun off from the popular Six Million Dollar Man series in 1976, the show featured Jaime Sommers, a former tennis pro, school teacher and childhood sweetheart of Col. Steve Austin (The Bionic Man). When she's nearly killed in a skydiving accident, Steve convinces his boss at the Office of Scientific Intelligence (OSI) to replace her damaged body parts with Bionic implants and recruit her as an operative. Jaime is rebuilt with two Bionic legs, capable of propelling her at speeds exceeding 60 mph, her right arm is replaced by a lifelike prosthetic capable of bending steel or throwing objects great distances, and the inner mechanism of her right ear is replaced by a Bionic device that gives her the ability to hear a mile away. Both shows used an unacceptable and excessive amount of slow-motion, for heightened dramatic effect of the action sequences. It looks totally hokey now....but it was VERY high tech at the time! Jaime fought a plethora of villans; terrorists, aliens, Bigfoot, evil twins, sentient computers, men in turtlenecks. Her main enemy on the series were the Fembots, powerful female androids who she fought on several occasions. The Fembots were later lampooned in the Austin Powers film much comedic effect. The show lasted 3 seasons before it was canceled in 1978. Who wants to put on a track suit and run in slow-mo with me?




They don't make opening credits like they used to.

Big pimpin'

Color stories!

Inappropriate beach attire

Attack Sasquatch!



 Yes, she had a Bionic dog!

The Bionic Woman vs. The Fembots! Ok, so this not in English...but it's an action scene....the dialogue is unimportant!




Fembot Fights!

There was a even a Bionic Woman comic book series...but it only lasted 6 issues.

Run Jaime! Run!



In 2007, NBC produced a re-imagined Bionic Woman series, but it came off as a poor mans ALIAS and was canceled after only 8 episodes. Never send a brunette to do a blondes job! ;)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Lil' Blonde Darling: Judy Greer as Vylette!

Blonde Beauty Icon Vylette

Is everyone ready for a late 90's fashion flashback? Good! The looks worn by Judy Greer as Vylette in the 1999 dark comedy Jawbreaker are like a dream come true. The movie is a camp classic and plays like Heathers meets Clueless; the 3 most popular (bitchy) girls in school accidently murder their BFF with a jawbreaker during a birthday prank gone sour. They plan to cover up her death but are found out by school geek Fern Mayo. To buy her silence, they transform the gawky Fern into popular, stylish blonde Vylette. I was a total awkward geek who metamorphosized myself into a blonde bombshell in high school, so I'll always have a soft spot for Fern/Vylette. Everything she wore was slinky and body hugging, shiny or iridescent and mostly made of spandex. I mean, thank baby Jesus! Vylette's signature color palette was comprised of shades of pink; fuchsia, geranium, salmon, magenta, rose, carnation, shocking pink.....a monochromatic fantasy! Costume designer Vickie Brinkkord really outdid herself on this film. Rose McGowan's looks were equally stunning. Vickie was also the costume designer for the Clueless TV series.....but that's an entire different blog post!

disco slip!

Soooooo gorgeous I needed 2 shots! A high waisted, stretch satin pencil skirt needs to be seen!


The stockings take the dress to a new level!

That carnation pink vinyl clutch needs to be in my collection.

Ruffles and bows are sexy!

Every girl should pose on the hood of a sports car at least once!

My pick for best look! Hot pink disco pants WITH matching jacket AND rhinestone embellishments?!?!

Little red Corvette!

A sheer, iridescent jacket and a rhinestone belt!

Prom Queen Barbie


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Lil' Blonde Darling: Nancy Spungen!

 Blonde Beauty Icon Nancy Spungen

 Ok, so yes she was a rock'n roll groupie....and a $tripper who dabbled in prostitution....hell, she was a fucking junkie! Regardless, Nancy Spungen was fucking HOT!!! Born in Philly, Nancy was a problem child practically since birth. Violently tormenting her younger siblings and threatening to kill her babysitter with scissors were only some of the highlights! She ran away from home at 17 to the bright lights of NYC and worked at a strip club in seedy Times Square. She idolized Glitter Rock groupie starlets like Sable Starr and spent much of her time following bands like Aerosmith, The New York Dolls and The Ramones. In 1977 she followed The Dolls to London and ended up hanging with The Sex Pistols. Nancy then embarked on a tumultuous, drug riddled, abusive relationship with Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious. The climax of the relationship was her murder in 1978 at age 20; stabbed to death at the hands of Sid, during an all night drug binge in NYC's Chelsea Hotel. Yeah, she was a crazy crackhead....but that curly blonde mop, too much makeup and loads of animal print MORE than make up for it!

 Going forward....this is the ONLY makeup look to wear!

Fucked up and pretty!

Oh honey...look!! I've got a runner in my pantyhose!

Animal prints!


heroin glaMOUR

WHERE is my curling iron?!?!

shady lady


Just a subtle contour!

I mean this makeup look is telling stories!! Busted tranny hooker? Yes please!

with her NYC gal pal Debbie Harry

Love hurts!

Kill the paparazzi!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Lil' Blonde Darling: Janet Gardner!

Blonde Beauty Icon Janet Gardner

Get out your Aqua-net and a teasing comb....and brace yourself for some of the most epic Hair Metal glaMOUR courtesy of Janet Gardner, the lead singer of all-girl Glam Metal band Vixen! All the girls were fabulous and made some killer hair and fashion choices....but Janet is my favorite! The band made a name for themselves on LA's Sunset Strip during the mid-80's and gained a large local following. In 1988 they were signed to EMI and released their self-titled debut album, which featured their signature hit single Edge of a Broken Heart. They toured the world as supporting act for some of the major players of the era: Ozzy, The Scorpions, KISS and Bon Jovi and in 1990 released their second album, Rev It Up. By 1991, the band had split as interest in LA Hair Metal had been eclipsed by Seattle-based Grunge. Hey, a flannel and some Docs are all well and good, but can they really compete with leather bustiers, lace stockings, animal print spandex, fringe trim, chains, studded belts and ripped acid wash, high waisted denim? Nope!

Share Pedersen (bass), Janet Gardner (lead vocals, rhythm guitar), Jan Kuehnemund (lead guitar), and Roxy Petrucci (drums)


All of this.....NOW!!

 Oh, that jacket is foul!!

 Just a subtle day look!


 BANG me!

 Denim and leather!

Bra tops!

 I'm RAW just looking at it!


Just take a moment of silence!

 That IS the hair!

 ALL of this!

Make it BIGGER!!! BIGGER!!

Ahh Boom!

....and here I am giving my best Janet Gardner/Vixen look in Semi Precious Weapons' Music Video! Thank you! No applause.....please....please......